By: Emmanuel Abazu
Your resolutions – introduction
As we start 2016, I would like to propose a toast. So
wherever you are and whatever you are doing – stop! Get yourself a drink. It
doesn’t matter what drink – water, wine, juice or whisky is fine. Grab that
drink and let’s toast: “To your dreams in 2016!"
Okay, now that we have drink to your dreams, may I ask what
those dreams are for 2016? Maybe I should have asked that before the toast.
Anyway, if you did a poll or asked people what their New
Year’s resolutions were they would mention any one of the following things:
spend more time with family and friends, get fit, lose weight, quit smoking,
enjoy life more, quit drinking, get out of debt, learn something new, help others,
reduce stress, get a better job.
Countless surveys, including those done by the US
government, have found these to be the most common resolutions. I would guess
that people in Nigeria are not an exception to this. One very interesting thing
about them is that very few are about getting wealthy or making money as such.
The majority are about the things that we neglect to do, for ourselves as well
as for others.
Your resolutions – your goals for 2016
This is not about statistics, before I digress. It’s about
you and your goals for 2007. Hopefully you have made them already. Haven’t you?
Then do it now. Write it down. I have found that there is nothing as powerful
as writing down your goals at the beginning of the year.
When you put your goals in writing at the beginning of the
year they take on a new significance and power. Especially if the goals are
accompanied by a picture depicting the outcome you want. Think of it as your
pictorial guide or encyclopedia for the rest of the year. Your mind catches on
to it and directs you to attain those goals during the remainder of the year,
if you are committed to them.
However, if you do not write things down, it is almost
certain you will not achieve them. You will have given your mind nothing to
work with and nothing to focus on. The pressures of life will distract you and
a month or two down the line you will be back doing the routine things of life.
Your dreams will likely be tossed in the pending tray.
Your resolutions – make this your best year ever
It doesn’t have to be that way. Every year can be better
than the previous year. It should. That is my philosophy. Whatever happened
last year, you should expect and reach out for more. Why? Because you can make
it happen.
Before you go overboard and write down humongous goals that
may only lead you to disappointment and frustration, take a moment to think
about what you should write.
Firstly, focus on realistic and achievable goals with
measurable results. This is where you either make it or break it. If you are a 2
packet-a-day smoker who has been at it for twenty years, for example, do not
say you will quit smoking at midnight on New Year’s Eve! Take it easy. Make it
realistic and achievable. You could, for instance, cut down to 1 and half
packets a day, then 1 packet a day in the first few months and finally to half
a packet after which you can move on to wearing a nicotine patch.
Creating unrealistic goals can make you feel frustrated and dis-empowered when you realize the first day or two that you just cannot do it.
Actually that’s a major reason a lot of goals, not just New Year’s resolutions,
are not achieved.
You need to break things down into small steps that you can
manage. This will greatly boost your confidence and you will fell empowered and
capable of achieving your goals once you are able to fulfill the smaller steps
that are required to get there. It also helps to break a big task into smaller
steps because then your mind will be able to see them as attainable and not
quite as daunting.
Your resolutions – get started right away
Speaking of goals being daunting, one reason people don’t
ever start working on their goals, even after they have made them is that they
wait to get motivated before they do so. Dr. Hinda Dubin argues that “action
precedes motivation, not the other way around. Once you initiate an action -
the smallest of actions - you pick up momentum and you'll realize 'hey, this
isn't so bad' and it will be a lot easier to keep moving forward, and to stay
motivated." So take action now. There is never a more perfect time to do
something about it than now.
Now is also a good time to tell someone about your
resolutions. It should be someone you trust and someone who will encourage you
rather than discourage you. Such a person can help you to keep on track when
you go off-course. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell someone else,
especially if you fear that you might fail. If you choose the right person this
should not be a problem. They may actually feel honored that you told them out
of so many others you could have told and they may end up being a great
shoulder to lean on.
Having such a friend can be very important during setbacks.
Which brings me to my next point: you should view setbacks as opportunities for
growth. Sometimes along the way you might fall a couple of times. That’s okay.
Pick yourself up and learn your lessons.
What did you do wrong? What could you do better? It is often
said that the only place where the shortest distance between point A and point
B is a straight line is in mathematics. In life, you have to zigzag your way
through to get to point B. Unexpected things may happen, you just have to
adjust and keep focused on your destination.
Your resolutions – it’s should be up to you
Finally, do not be pressured into doing something because
someone else wants you to do it. Your goals for 2016 should be something you
really desire to change or achieve. Then you will be more likely to succeed.
Take on this year with a fresh enthusiasm and all the faith, courage,
determination, persistence and energy you can muster. 2016 can be your best
year ever. Decide to make it one. As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “The future
belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"
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